St Mary's

‘Jesus withdrew to the district of Tyre and Sidon, and behold a woman, who was a Canaanite from that district came out, and with a loud [troublesomely urgent] cry, begged, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! My daughter is miserably and cruelly possessed by a demon!” But He did not answer her word and His disciples came and implored Him saying, “Send her away for she is crying out after us.” Jesus answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” But she came and kneeling, worshipped Him and kept praying, “Lord, help me!” And Jesus answered, “It is not fair to take the children’s bread and throw it to the little dogs.” She said, “Yes Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’ table. ” Then Jesus answered her, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you wish.” And her daughter was healed from that very moment’

(Matthew 15:21- 28).

This week is mental health week; mental ill health is very common and affects many of us. The themes for this year are stay active, stay connected and stay involved.

This seems like a pretty simple formula to apply to our lives, but in fact learning to apply balance is a skill that requires focus and persistence. When we steer out own boats we feel less lost and not as vulnerable to depression.

We all have our own way of staying active, for some it is the gym, cycling, jogging. I Like the Buddhist concept of walking meditation. I have trouble sitting still for long periods of time, and by nature am introspective and so sitting meditation does not work for me. Whilst keeping an eye on the footpath, I like to be outside with the sounds of nature and of humans, the sounds of living. I am still meditating but also looking outwards, instead of inwards. Everybody has worries, it is a skill to learn how to learn keep them contained.

I have other strategies, aromatherapy, tea made from herbs from my garden, read a good book, or garden. These are ways, I ground myself, and there is some truth, sewing, planting and harvesting food from the garden is grounding.

I also like to sing with the choir   Meanjin Voices, and after finishing a Masters in Creative Writing, continue to write and perform at a professional level. Over the last three years, I have been struggling with depression and even though I haven’t felt like it, I have continued to write and now have a big bank of work to draw from.

We as humans are at the best of times complex and unfathomable, and understanding our own true nature is a life long challenge. Just when I think I get to a stage in my life where I can slack off because I truly know myself, I  realise I don’t. Some part of our personality surprises me, or I have an opinion or attitude that isn’t in keeping with my values. I try harder to understand myself, to be a better person.

However, at times I wonder whether don’t confuse perfectionism and persistence.

When we strive for perfectionism we set ourselves up to fail. Perhaps we should strive for persistence with the day to day challenge of living?

In today’s reading, this is the example set by the Cannite woman. Often in the bible chucking out the devil, refers to mental ill health. One of the ways of looking at this story is this: The Canaanite woman, pleads to Jesus,

‘Help me, my daughter is ill”

She is ignored.

‘How much longer can I be strong, Jesus? I have come to you for  help” “You are my last hope…”

The disciples say:

“Go away. We have very important work to do. We have a world to save!!!”

But Jesus can see the bigger picture. He himself is under immense pressure from the Pharisees and Romans, and can empathise.

Her persistence pays off and Jesus out of his compassion says to her,

“Go away now, your daughter is healed. Go home”

CONNECTING

Connections are very important. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness but rather strength. It is not a morality question, about who deserves help; it is a question of available and good health care. There is help available. Just ask. Persistence does pay off!

There is still an attitude in the community that only people without; a mental illness can be mentally well, people in general, like to think that they will never experience mental illness. This attitude is met in the work place, universities, pretty much everywhere. I have met this attitude often and now my current writing and performing is about communicating these prejudices. I am supported by organizations that create opportunities for artists with disabilities, such as ‘Micah Projects’ who produced the play, “The Keeper’. This play was performed last year at the Power House Theatre, at a fully professional level. Here I wrote and performed a piece on mental health, and after the performance, was surprised by the number of people who wanted to ask questions or share experiences.

I am also supported by’ Access Arts’ who have invited me into a professional development course for writers and performers, and ‘Artists from the Margins’, who gave me an opportunity to perform in the Brisbane Festival this year, and have asked me to put in a submission to perform my work at the, “Art of Difference” festival in Melbourne next year. This will be to perform work that I have been writing over the last three years.

If people insist on trying to pigeonhole me then I will pigeonhole myself, speak out, and continue to educate people who do not know a lot about mental illness.

The’ art of living,’ is a very serious business, but we should make some time for fun.

Acknowledge that life can be serious but it should also be enjoyed.

There is an absurdity to mental health, and I love the theatre of the absurd. I have met people who are scared of phone boxes, I don’t know why, perhaps because of the association they have to Dr. Who and the Tardis?

When I am not well, I don’t like walking on the cracks in footpaths, and can be seen taking giant steps just to avoid a crack.

I see the absurdity, but I still love that delicious feeling I get when I step on a crack and wait for the earth to open up and swallow me. It’s absurd but fun.

Connecting with others is important for all of us. People have over 100 friends on Face Book, some who they have never met…Now I think that this is absurd, but I understand  that this is virtual community, and probably generational. However, I still think you can’t beat a real person for a friend. I like to count on the very good five non-virtual friends that I have had for years. Friends keep us connected; stop us from isolating, and feeling lonely and detached from the rest of the community. Who we choose to have around us is important. I try to choose positive people; a positive approach to life is contagious. I think that friendship is highly undervalued in our western society; our friends are sometimes our only family.

Friends help keep us connected with the rest of the world when we feel disconnected by mental ill health.

INVOLVED

It is important to be involved with people and activities that give our life meaning, to go where our talent leads us whether that is stamp collecting, scuba diving, ghost hunting or politics. The more connected and involved we are, the less time we have to ruminate about what we cannot change.

However, when we are ill, staying connected and involved it is very hard, just getting out of bed is almost impossible and our world becomes very narrow.  When we are ill it is important to set a goal. When I was in a very deep depression, a friend gave me a puppy, my goal was to keep the puppy alive. I took this very seriously, perhaps too seriously, the puppy turns nineteen on Thursday, and the vet has told me , “you would have her for a few more years yet!!!! “

The French have a saying,

“We all have our quarter hour”

This means that we are all in the same boat, we are in this together. None of us are exempt from life; we all experience, sorrow and joy. The only difference between us is that I have a mental health diagnosis.

So during the Prayer’s of the Faithful, when we share out deep sorrows over a loss or a sadness, or our  happiness over births, marriages, graduations, we all share in these  feeling with each, we all know these feelings, and so when we say,

“Lord hear our prayer’”, we say this to each other with a genuine response

In fact, although we are a diverse group of people, we share many more similarities than differences, but on the other hand as you would have experienced, people don’t always treat the mentally ill with compassion and justice.

But we should also remember that there are people who despite mental illness have achieved something amazingly creative. Churchill’s most rousing speeches whether the result of his brilliance, illness, or both, will always remain contentious. Spike Milligan, best remembered as one of the writers and performers from the Goon Show, said of mental illness,

“You get the pain worse than anybody else

But you see a sunrise more beautiful than anybody else.”

The Greek scholar Plato described people with mental illness as divinely inspired.

We can achieve the unrealistic beyond reason. There are things beyond reason, more beyond the rational. The challenge for all of us is to persist with the art of living and to have compassion for ourselves and others when we live though sorrow and joy, when we experience this precious thing called happiness. It is also to have compassion and justice for others just as Jesus did.