A Queensland Creed ~ A Satire ~
Into the Deep Issue 100 Newsletter of orthodox Catholics of Gippsland January 2011
A Queensland Creed
~ A Satire ~
We believe in God.
We believe that all people except racists and sexists are made in her image.
We believe that the force opposed to god is evil and thus masculine.
We believe that when the present pope dies, we shall get a pope who will give us women priests.
We believe that the greatest issues facing the world are global warming, gay marriage, and the rain forest.
We believe that all will be saved, except for the hypocritical right-wingers.
We believe that Pope Paul was afraid to admit error when he pronounced against contraception.
We believe that no pope is infallible without the consent of theologians.
We believe that god knows how hard marriage is, and she would want the divorced and remarried to receive communion.
We believe that in any case, it is just bread.
We believe that god is a god of love, and since homosexuals love each other, they should be permitted to marry each other.
We believe that children in catholic schools should be taught about the benefits of sodomy.
We believe that the Bible is a collection of stories made up hundreds of years after Christ, and made to fit the legends and myths of Christianity.
We believe in the Spirit of Vatican 2. Where the real Vatican 2 is different, it is wrong.
We believe that it is the task of theologians to correct the inaccuracies of the Holy Spirit.
We believe that the church must constantly change, and the people adapt to new beliefs.
We believe in the right of priests to demonstrate their creativity, especially in the Mass.
We believe that all have the ability to forgive sins. But we believe that this is no longer necessary.
We believe that those who complain about abuses in the Mass are spies and sinners, and particularly unAustralian.
We believe that all things should be tolerated in the spirit of diversity and accommodation, except for those intolerant racist right-wingers.
We believe that if these commandments are followed, the world will enter a period of extended peace and happiness.
Richard Stokes, Calboolture QLD
07/01/2011 at 10:44 am Permalink
Nice to read such words of charity, love, and understanding!! you should include that all people should vote Greens and the next pope a lesbian… how nice… Lets make it the creed at St Mary’s.
This is the type of stuff you pick up at the main bar of a hotel.
The Church in exile is a true peoples church, a church minus God.
07/01/2011 at 1:45 pm Permalink
Er yes… webmaster silly with christmas cheer – not meant to be taken seriously. Question is does webmaster have financial and administrative nous to write next chapter of the group which was many of the members of my church mid 1980s to early 2009? Is new blood required to move SMX on? Time is running by.. priests are getting older.. many of those too who left St Mary’s in 2009. I cannot find SMX listed at http://www.tcpc.org (tho i can see many Anglicans listed which is wonderful from my point of view) – I find no mention on stmaryssouthbrisbane.com of building plans or plans for a new church.. young, new, and energetic souls are renovating the old st mary’s and being creative and doing new things with the old church.. the church was packed on christmas eve – the orchestra and choir were splendid. We didn’t sing Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer though but we could have
07/01/2011 at 8:47 pm Permalink
Marcus. I think you missed the point. We didn’t write it, our dear friend Richard the Roman did. We simply published it to widen the reader base given that the only people who read In the Deep are the Ultra right fearful Catholics apparently hellbent on defending God’s church against the evils of free thinkers…
By the way I think a Lesbian Pope would do a better job than the current incumbent.
09/01/2011 at 11:45 am Permalink
And if you don’t think it matters getting your own building, or linking up with a denomination (which is what Progressive Christianity may be), imagine SMX in a few years time or decade or 2, dwindling to ‘house church’ – how do you as a former St Mary’s member feel about that, given the 3 decades of strong church you came from, walking into St Mary’s perhaps in 20 year’s time to visit?
When I came to St Mary’s in 1987 the Anglican church of my childhood of my childhood was being sold to the Queensland Government and knocked down to be replaced with government buildings. My church still exists (in name) but is a new church in another suburb. And of course, as an Anglican I know what it’s like to come from a denomination that broke away many years ago from the Catholic church and yet shares so much with.. I know what it’s like to move away from your church.
If you look in St Stephen’s cathedral you will see one corner of the church set aside to celebrate a covenant between the local Anglican and Catholic churches – and outlines, among many other things, ‘co-operation in the presentation of church music…’ (1982). If you know your history of St Mary’s from 1980s to now, you’ll know the big role of Anglicans in forming the character of the modern St Mary’s, particularly in the music – many Anglicans have been involved.
In each piece of music I compose, arrange, and play for the old St Mary’s now, I’m very aware of Dean Hamilton, Joan Mooney, Wendy Brown, Deon Payne, my parents, and many others who made the music at my church what it is, but I’m also aware that (church) music is constantly evolving. Music doesn’t stand still… any good student of music history knows that. History moves on, but you want to retain the best of each era as you move on.
09/01/2011 at 9:29 pm Permalink
David. The point is the ‘satire’ is so contradictory and ridiculous, tracing the authenticity of it’s authoriship is a waste of your time. It ain’t worth publishing on this website – it’s just confusing. My comments above relate to what really isn’t but needs to be talked about on this website and by SMX is what formal links are you making with Progressive Christianity, and what are you doing to find a place? These are the hard issues SMX must face – the above ‘satire’ is a waste of your and your readers’ time.
10/01/2011 at 1:14 pm Permalink
This satirical piece relates specifically to this St Mary’s community and provides an insight into the thoughts of those who have difficulty with (and attempt to debase though satire) a contemporary community of catholic origin.
10/01/2011 at 1:47 pm Permalink
I regularly read the comments shared here but, until now, have refrained from joining in. Honestly, Tim, I am tired of constantly reading your (and others’) negative, and often antagonistic, comments. If you are happy with your choice to remain with the original St Mary’s community, why do you spend so much time and energy constantly berating, questioning and challenging those who have chosen to move forward with St Mary’s in Exile? It seems to me that you need to justify your decision somehow by casting shadows over SMX. Why can you not just agree to disagree and move on? That would be the mature & Christian thing to do. We each have our own spiritual journey and there is no need for any “One” to be right and the “Other” to be wrong. If you are truly happy where you are, then let other’s also be happy where they are.
10/01/2011 at 5:12 pm Permalink
Carmel, I’m sure Tim is only trying to be helpful, and when it comes to negativity and antagonism surely the boot is on the other foot. SMX commentary is almost always antagonistic towards catholicism – the pope is a moron; the archbishop is guilty of abuse of power; catholic beliefs are childish superstitions – all that sort of thing. Never with any factual or rational basis. Never showing any attempt to understand the catholic position.
From my point of view, If this website was simply devoted to a forward looking effort to work out a new age spirituality, it would be of interest only to people who are interested in that sort of thing. Actually, late last year I thought I detected a move in that direction, with positive sounding talks by Terry and Peter. The effect was ruined however by the publication of the article by Father Hodgens. Honestly, Carmel, how could that bitter diatribe reconcile with your advice to ‘just agree to disagree and move on’?
10/01/2011 at 5:50 pm Permalink
Carmel, there is one element to SMX, that of ‘protest’ and urging for reform in Catholic church, and many Catholics and others involved with the Catholic church including myself who’ve stayed at the old St Mary’s understand that.
There is however, the practical, boring issues, of an ‘exiled’ church becoming formally part of a network and all the support that provides, finding a building, to secure its longevity. 2 years after a walk down the street to TLC, the leadership of SMX have not yet achieved that. That’s deeply concerns me having many friends and family members at both SMX – to see at risk almost 30 years of community disintegrate in 2 or 10 years’ time because the people running SMX now aren’t up to the job of moving ‘SMX’ forward – if I step on anyone’s toes by saying that, then so be it – these are hard times.
How tough was it to go back to the old St Mary’s September 2009 and join with a new musical team to get the music re-established? (none of the former St Mary’s musicians stayed)… I am the only musician at the old church who knows what the music at St Mary’s was like in the 1980s, the 1990s, the 2000s…
I’ve been to SMX – I’ve praised musicians there for what they are doing. Some of the SMX musicians hope SMX and the old St Mary’s musicians can do more together in future. There is a gentleness to SMX music which was part of St Mary’s for many years, but has come to the fore more at TLC. But the SMX music has definitely changed – it’s not what it was at the old church. And that’s a natural thing.
Carmel, be prepared to be tired by what you have interpreted as “negative, and often antagonistic” comments. No St Mary’s Sunday mass musicians’ story was told in the ‘Peter Kennedy The Man Who Threatened Rome’, neither any other TV or radio coverage. Yet take out the St Mary’s musicians from the last 30 years and well… have you ever attended a Sunday mass at St Mary’s or SMX without music?
We helped build that community.
11/01/2011 at 12:10 pm Permalink
Carmel, everyone here seems to putting the boots into each, where is our charity in all this???
Lets be honest SMX is a joke, as is the title of the book of Peter’s …the man who threatened Rome!! the title leaves me laughing, although at 30 bucks a book I’m sure I would be laughing.. If Peter thinks he has threatened Rome he needs to have a long cold shower. He has only made a fool of himself!!!
11/01/2011 at 3:01 pm Permalink
Marcus, there is the risk of negativity, and a ‘boots into each’ approach, but actually the other side of the coin is a really fascinating discussion about not the sacking of a priest (2009) but the possibility of the forming of a new denomination. Like any Catholic church, SMX is still run by an inner clique of Catholics, and look i’m not criticising that – it works. Now may be the time to call on the protestant members of SMX – the Anglicans, Uniting Church, etc – you will find a strength there SMX as you are (in fact) moving further and futher away from the Catholicism (yet not totally forgetting it) to form a progressive church. The protestants.. have had some experience with this.
Yes, the book title – I’m in the book – and I find the title funny. ‘The man who threatened Rome..’ ‘The man who ate a bone..’ ‘The man who ran all the way home..’.. I would chuckle at myself when this odd and disorganised, though in many parts beautiful book was first gifted to me at the book launch in 2009. It is funny, because me sitting down with Peter over a meal and having a chat and asking ‘where the hell are you going with this church mate?’ is a tad overdue. I really should do that rather than blogging – but I blog – there are no secrets, you know my name – come up and say hi at the old st mary’s at the piano after mass. Or I will come and say hi to Josephine and catch up with the SMX musos before long.
18/01/2011 at 9:13 pm Permalink
Not a bad idea from Timbo that the protestants be more assertive. It might help the others break free of the mental impasse of wanting to be catholic, and at the same time not wanting to be; of wanting to be part of the catholic church but only on their terms; of wishing the church would change so that it became simply what is already on offer in the various branches of protestantism.